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Consent should be knowing, voluntary, active, present, and ongoing, no matter the activity. Gynemimetophilia - Sexual interest in trans-women. Core element of BDSM. B Babyboy - Male form of an s-type with little tendencies; may prefer childlike mentality and activities, such as colouring, toys, etc. Gerontophilia - Sexual interest in the elderly.
Catheter - A medical device specifically designed for insertion into the bladder via the urinary canal in order to drain the bladder. Funishment - A light-hearted form of punishment or discipline, often allowing the bottom to enjoy the sensations, as opposed to serious retribution. Drag - The act of dressing as kink gay speed dating dows opposite of one's gender.
Flogger - A tool commonly used in impact play. Crop - A semi-flexible thin rod with a handle at one end and a leather loop at the other, as used with horses. Exhibitionism - Deriving sexual pleasure from exposing oneself sexually to others, with or without the consent of others or even the one being exposed. Mentor Role - A trusted adviser or guide who has knowledge and experience.
Gimp Attire - Masks and suits, often leather, latex, or PVC, worn as a form of bondage to restrain the wearer. This fluid is a different composition to urine, and is generally expelled during an orgasm or high stimulation. Chemical Play - The use of chemicals to produce sensations, such as ginger, cinnamon, cayenne, menthol, etc. This is somewhat subjective.
Bagging - Form of suffocation for arousal, generally using a clear plastic bag. Checklist BDSM - Commonly a document containing someone's limits, preferences, experience level, and desired outcomes of a scene. Irrumatio - The act of thrusting one's phallus into a partner's mouth and throat. Disciplinarian - Most commonly, a D-type preferring to use discipline such as spankings, canings, etc as a kink gay speed dating dows of punishment or behaviour correction.
This forms a tapered hollow point at the striking end. Open to many structures, a House is often headed by a Dominant, but may be Leather, age-playing, poly, or otherwise. Doraphilia - Sexual interest in leather, skin, or fur. I Ichinawa - Form of bondage using just one rope. Feeder - A person who takes pleasure in feeding a bottom to encourage weight gain.
Often paired with a Daddy, Mommy, or Caregiver within a dynamic. Consent Violation CV - The breaking of an established code of consent, which may include abuse, assault, rape, battery, doxing, etc. This is a form of edge play, and as such, should be approached with care. Bull - A man who engages in sex with a woman whose partner enjoys the cuckold dynamic.
Cuckquean - A female whose male partner has sex with other women, commonly involving some level of humiliation. Branding - Scarring the skin using a heated element. Less commonly refers to a D-type responsible for instilling self-discipline within their charge, such as nutrition, exercise, self-care. Dollification - The process of evolving into a living doll.
Menophilia - Sexual interest in menstruation. Edge Play - Refers to a range of scene and play activities which are considered high-risk. Leather Lifestyle - Considered the precursor of BDSM structures, Leather is widely categorised by wearing leather, but breaks down further into Old and New styles, which may include formal training, etiquette, and protocols.
Hematolagnia - Sexual pleasure derived from blood and blood play. Infibulation - The act of 'closing' the genitals, rendering them useless, often through suturing, glue, or piercings. Green Flag - A positive indicator about a potential partner, such as humility, understanding, patience, honesty. FemDom - Short form for Female Dominant or Female Domination, typically refers to a dynamic between a male s-type and female Dominant, but can encompass any female Dominant-led activities.
Autagonistophilia - Sexual interest in being on stage or on camera. Can be decorative in the form of a design. Crumbs - Short form of "breadcrumbs", used to highlight a post for other's attention by making it visible to your followers. Cane - A long thin rod used for impact play, commonly made from rattan, bamboo, carbon fibre, or hardwood. Human Pet - Often, a well-treated s-type with companionship and affection as their acts of service; often differs from pet play in that there are no animal behaviours involved.
Harem - A group of s-types in service to one D-type. May also refer simply to ejaculation during unprotected sex. Master Leather - A person who has achieved expert proficiency in a particular skill set, or an indicator of how long someone has been involved in the community kink or otherwise. After Care: After Care refers to the time you and your partner s take after engaging in Kink or BDSM to check in with your emotional and physical needs.
Body Modification - Making changes to the body, often permanently, such as tattoos, piercings, scarification, branding, hair removal, cosmetic surgery, etc. Masochism - Deriving sexual pleasure from being subjected to pain, physically or emotionally. Care should be given to patch test for allergies ahead of a scene. Hebephilia - Sexual interest in early pubescent children.
Degradation - The kink gay speed dating dows of treating someone with contempt or disrespect. CD Cross Dresser - Someone who wears the clothing of the opposite sex. Erotic Asphyxiation - Sexual interest in the asphyxia kink gay speed dating dows oneself or others, also known as Breath Play. Avisodomy - Sexual behaviour with birds. Fluid Bonding - The act of wilfully, and consensually, choosing to remove barriers such as condoms from sexual activity with a partner.
Often entirely dependent upon how a given Leather family defines the term. Flogging - The act of striking someone with a flogger. Also known as Kink gay speed dating dows Play. Gun Play - A scene involving the use of one or more guns, whether loaded or unloaded. Sometimes referred to as a Family, House, or Pack, depending on the dynamic in question.
Frottage - The act of rubbing one's body against someone for sexual arousal. Knife Play - A scene involving the use of one or more knives, from either side of the slash. May or may not have an opening for the mouth and nose. Commonly referred to as 'face fucking'. The act of one partner urinating on another, or less commonly upon oneself.
Hog Tie - Bondage kink gay speed dating dows binding the ankles and wrists together behind the back. Dogging - The act of sex, with spectatorship encouraged, such as in a car park or public woodland. Capnolagnia - Arousal caused by watching others smoke. Open to many structures, a Family is often headed by a Dominant, but may be Leather, age-playing, poly, or otherwise.
Can be used kink gay speed dating dows a form of punishment or control. Boi - May refer to a female submissive who identifies as male, or for a male to avoid confusion with paedophilia. Frotteurism - Deriving sexual pleasure from rubbing against a non-consenting person. Chastity - The act of preventing access to or stimulation of sexual organs, often through a specific device.
Open to many structures, a Clan is often headed by a Dominant, but may be Leather, age-playing, poly, or otherwise. Not to be confused with Edge Play. Frenzy - A dangerous headspace experienced by many newcomers to kink and BDSM, where the person actively seeks out experiences and partners, without showing due care for their well-being.
Breast Bondage - Restraining the female breasts through binding to flatten them, or until they bulge from blood restriction. Drop sub- Dom- Top- etc - An emotional state caused by the sudden drop of hormones after a Scene or Play. G Gag - 1 A device on or around the mouth to prevent speech. Female Ejaculation - The expulsion of bodily fluids from the Skene gland via the urethra.
Caning - The act of striking someone with a cane. This is a form of edge play, and as such, should be approached with additional care. Coprolalia - Arousal caused by the use of profanity i. Fluid Exchange - Generally refers to any activity where fluid transfer may occur, such as penetrative sexual intercourse, kissing, oral sex, etc, as well as blood play.
May or may not be sexual to either party. Enderacinism - Deriving sexual pleasure from the act or thought of tearing out sexual organs by the roots. Ippon Nawa - Form of bondage using just one rope. Masochist - Someone who derives pleasure from being subjected to pain, physically or emotionally. Use of sterile catheters is a must, and consideration should be given to the chance of serious infection.
Felching - The act of licking or sucking bodily fluids from the anus. Impact Play - Common form of activities involving one person striking another, such as spanking, flogging, caning, paddling. See Objectum Sexuality. Hybristophilia - Sexual interest in criminals, particularly for cruel or extremely violent crimes. Kajira - Gorean term for a female slave.
Madame - Typically a woman who operates or owns a sex work operation. Clan - A group of individuals in a relationship who may or may not live together. House - A group of individuals in a relationship who may or may not live together. Emetophilia - Sexual interest in vomit. Biastophilia - Sexual interest in the act or thought of raping a non-consenting person.
Contract - A written agreement between a D-type and s-type, used to outline the rules, structure, limits, etc of the relationship. Chremastistophilia - Sexual interest in being robbed or held up. Dominant Role - Someone who accepts power and control in a power exchange dynamic. Cunnilingus - The act of oral sex performed on a female. Autogynephilia - Sexual interest of a biological male that imagines himself as a female.
Generally paired in dynamics with a Daddy, Mommy, or Caregiver. Keraunophilia - Sexual interest in thunderstorms. Lolita - An ageplaying s-type typically fulfilling the role of a precocious year old. Also known as Queening. The identity of the s-type is ingrained and considered 'total'. If you have been a victim of a consent violation, help is here.
Hard Limit - Non-negotiable actions that a person will not do, and should never be coerced into. Interrogation Play - A scenario, or Scene, in which the bottom is subjected to questioning, often in the form of torture or ruthless questioning from multiple sources. Chronophilia - Sexual interest in having partners of a widely differing chronological age range.
Eualgia - Known as "good pain"; as opposed to unbearable pain or agony. May also refer to a D-type who enjoys brat taming. Femme - A female-identifying person, usually in contrast to a Butch counterpart such as in lesbian couplingsbut also encompasses feminine gay, bisexual, or trans men. Mental Bondage - A psychological form of bondage; remaining in position through instruction only.
The opposite of transvestism. Figging - The act of inserting prepared ginger root into the anus to illicit a burning sensation. Safewords are necessary to ensure that any sexual activity is safe, pleasurable, and consensual. This creates a sense of vulnerability. Collaring - An event wherein the commitment between a D-type and s-type is formalised.
Hotwife - An attractive married female who participates in sex with other men, often whilst her husband watches or participates. Can be permanent, or temporary e. Failsafe - Used in bondage, allows the bottom to escape the arrangement in case of emergency. Corset Piercing - A form of body modification where piercings fitted with hoops or D-rings are placed up the back and laced to resemble a corset.
Can be a surface-level activity, or used for deep tissue bruising. Hooks Suspension - Weight-bearing metal hooks designed for suspension of the human form; placed in key points around the body to support the weight.
Sarah L: "I appreciated the clear descriptions of the different event types. It helped me choose the right speed dating event for me."This can involve restricting blood flow to the brain, leading to disorientation or loss of consciousness. Harness - 1 Bondage attire used for suspension. Clover Clamp - Nipple clamps with a level mechanism, enabling increased pressure when the chain is pulled. Brat - A variation of s-type who enjoys subverting rules and expectations, or someone who enjoys playful banter with their Dominant partner, while still respecting the given dynamic at play.
L Lactophilia - Sexual interest in breast milk. Mammaphilia - Sexual interest in breasts; also known as mammagynophilia and mastofact. High Protocol - The mutual practice of strict, almost militant, rules and expectations between a Dominant and a submissive in a power dynamic. Dacryphilia - Sexual interest in the sight of tears or crying.
Butch - Typically a female-identified whose social and relationship roles are perceived by many as being masculine, often with lesbian, gay, or queer orientation. Lashes, or falls, are usually made from leather, suede, rope, or rubber. Also known as ippon nawa. Breath Play - Controlling and limiting the breathing of another person in a given scene.
Also known as microbranding. This is a form of edge play and must be approached with additional care. May refer to a corner of the house or an entire building hosting BDSM parties. Autassassinophilia - Sexual interest in being in life-threatening situations. Breeding - Most commonly refers to a fantasy wherein women are used solely for impregnation.
The process includes mental transformation as well as physical, and may be an s-type's doll personal choice, or that of the D-type Owner. Similar to Squirting. FtM - A female to male transgender. FFF - Common acronym denoting an all-female - male - male threesome. May involve anger, depression, guilt, feelings of inferiority, loneliness, or detachment.
As soon as you say your safe word, your partner s should respect it, stop whatever they are doing, and check in. Hair Bondage - Bondage technique involving securing the hair to limit mobility of the head or upper body. Babygirl - Female form of an s-type with little tendencies; may prefer childlike mentality and activities, such as colouring, toys, etc.
Considering Role - A period of time during which a D-type is forming a decision on whether or not to take a dynamic to the next level, ie Collaring, enslavement, etc. Most commonly used as a form of orgasm denial. Fear Play kink gay speed dating dows Form of psychological play, uses real fear in a controlled manner. Gangbang - Historically, an act of raping someone committed by several people at the same time; the act of one person most commonly female having sex with several men at once.
Kinbaku - Intentional form of bondage, translated as "tight binding", most commonly as form of restraint, or to cause pain. A key reason for Aftercare. Kajirus - Gorean term for a male slave. Forced Orgasms - The act of inducing orgasm against a person's will, or in spite of their instruction not to climax orgasm denial. Daddy - Variant of a D-type role within a power dynamic, often with nurturing and gentle practices.
Discipline - Activities in which codes of conduct are enforced, or punishment is inflicted. Similar to edge play, with the acknowledgment of exceptional risk, even with proper equipment and maintenance. Generally the person in charge, kink gay speed dating dows the rules and safe practices one should respect when in attendance. If you believe you have experienced sexual violencethere are resources available to support you.
Can be used as a prop, or for penetration. Knismolagnia - Arousal caused by tickling. Kleptophilia - Sexual interest in stealing; also known as kleptolagnia. Edging - Similar to orgasm control and denial; involves bringing someone repeatedly to the brink of climax, but denying the payoff. Glory Hole - A hole in a partition used to perform anonymous sex acts, often in public settings such as bathrooms.
Occasionally used for decorative purposes. The definition of 'edge play' can vary from person to person, but is widely used to refer to anything with the potential to be dangerous, damaging, or have long-lasting consequences. Creampie - The eating of semen from a vagina or anus. Dendrophilia - Sexual interest in trees. Limits may evolve over time with exploration, but nobody should ever agree to something they're not comfortable with.
Cupping - The act of using a suction device on the body; commonly with glass suction cups. Not to be confused with Consensual Non-Consent. Commonly, the naked female can be subjected to any range of treatments or tortures. Cuckold - A man whose female partner has sex with other men, commonly involving some level of humiliation. Fellatio - The act of oral sex performed on a male.
Often in reference to doctors, therapists, craftsmen, etc. Often shortened to KH. Kidnapping Play - A scenario, or Scene, in which the bottom is restrained and taken to another location, often by force. Hooks Anal - A metal hook with a plug for insertion into the anus, and a loop on the other end to be attached to the hair or rope for predicaments.
Bukkake - Japanese term for a woman having several men ejaculate on her face at once. Caregiver CG - Variant of a D-type role within a power dynamic, often with nurturing and gentle practices. Commonly, the naked male can be subjected to any range of treatments or tortures. Blood Play - A scene involving the use of blood, from either side of the slash.
Ederacinism - Sexual desire to remove one's own penis; often as a way to remove the parts that drive one to 'sin'. An actual collar is frequently used, but the couple may decide on any symbol; an anklet, a necklace, etc. Klismaphilia - Sexual interest in the usage of enemas. Bottom - Someone who has things done to them during a scene or play. Occasionally refers to a vanilla 'tomboy'.
Usually presented with a capitalised letter. Family - A group of individuals in a relationship who may or may not live together. Sometimes referred to as a Clan, Family, or Pack, depending on the dynamic in question. Autonepiophilia - Sexual interest in dressing as, or imagining oneself as, an infant. Clit Torture - The infliction of pain exclusively on kink gay speed dating dows clitoris.
Body Worship kink gay speed dating dows Respect shown to every part of the body, often by kissing, licking, or sucking. Kink - An unconventional or unusual sexual preference or behaviour. Most often exerts control over one or more submissives, who most commonly identify as slaves. Safewords are strongly recommended, but are not always used.
Not all females have the ability to ejaculate. Little - A form of s-type who roleplays a younger age typically up to May involve the use of toys, pacifiers, clothing, and occasionally adapting their voice, as well as affectionate, nurturing, and disciplinary practices. Ethical Non-Monogamy - general term used to describe all consensually non-monogamous relationships wherein open communication and respect between all partners is observed, whether they are long- or short-term.
Gorean Gor - Specific lifestyle choice based on the novels of sci-fi writer John Norman. Fire Play - A scene involving the use of flammable liquid to create quick flashes of flame on the skin. Here are some ideas for safewords that you and your partner s can use. Can be self-inflicted. Consideration should be given to the chance of serious infection.
Cilice - A spiked metal belt worn around the thigh. Autoandrophilia - Sexual interest of a biological female kink gay speed dating dows imagines herself as a male. LDR Long Distance Relationship - Acronym denoting a relationship over a significant distance, such as cross-country or overseas. Golden Shower - Colloquial term referring to urolagnia or watersports.
F Facesitting - The act of sitting on another's face, generally to facilitate oral-genital or oral-anal contact. Forniphilia - Sexual interest in human furniture play. Dragon's Tail - A whip consisting of a handle, with a triangular piece of suede, leather, or similar. Sometimes referred to as a Clan, House, or Pack, depending on the dynamic in question.
Also known as ichinawa. Internal Enslavement - A mental state where a slave or 'property' will see the roles of a dynamic as integral and internal. Feminisation - The act of forcefully dressing someone in an overly feminine way, typically in an exaggerated manner with frilly dresses and makeup. Hood - A covering over the entire head.
Cutting - The act of using a sharp implement to draw blood. K Kajir - Gorean term referring to a group of slaves of either gender. Some Gorean practitioners do so without the use of practices like bondage, discipline, etc. Most commonly, males with exaggerated makeup, hair, and female attire, known as Drag Queens. Cock Ring - A device worn around the shaft of the penis to prolong erections.
The extent of the Dominant's influence is between the D-type and their s-type. Handler - A D-type with a preference for pet play, acting as a care taker. Macrophilia - Sexual interest in giants, primarily domination by giant women or men. Gimp Role - Someone who wears gimp attire; may be for the purpose of humiliation or objectification.
Green flags are subjective dependent upon the desired connection. Bondage - The act of restraining someone through use of rope or similar means, such as cable ties, chains, cuffs, etc. FinDom - Short form for Financial Dominant or Financial Domination, where an s-type will give sums of money to the Dominant, sometimes with nothing in return.
This is not a legally-binding document. May refer to the training of skills as well as behaviours. Florentine - An artistic form of flogging, creating a figure-8 shape with a flogger in each hand. May involve ritual components in some cases. Not to be confused with Edging. FLR Female Led Relationship - Common acronym denoting a power exchange dynamic, where the authority lies with the female.
Bastinado - Form of impact play on the soles of the feet, commonly using kink gay speed dating dows. Keyholder - An individual holding the key to a chastity device, and therefore the power to grant or deny orgasm. Autoerotic Asphyxiation - Sexual interest in self-induced asphyxiation, often to the point of unconsciousness. See also Castration Play Basoexia - Arousal caused by kissing.
Cell Popping - The use of a small heated poker to create a series of dots. Cisgender - Presenting a gender identity matching one's physical sex. FFM - Common acronym denoting a threesome involving two females and a male, where the females do interact with eachother. Dollification is a complex process with a variety of preferences and presentations.
An emotional connection between the Top and bottom is often found. Fall - The striking end of a whip or flogger. Wide range of forms including practical, decorative, restrictive, predicament, etc. Homeovestism - Deriving sexual pleasure from wearing clothing of one's own gender. Bullwhip - A type of singletail whip consisting of a woven or braided leather whip, usually longer than 4', with a short rigid handle.
Considered a temporary form of body modification, which can last anywhere from wks. Some collaring events are similar to a wedding, others are simple acts between the two people. This can be considered a form of edge play and should be approached carefully and consensually. Hedonism - The pursuit of one's own pleasure. DP Double Penetration - The act of penetration occurring in more than one orifice simultaneously.
Catheterophilia - Sexual interest in the thought, act, or watching the usage of a catheter. Different forms of cane and impact zones will affect the sensation. Also known as Sissification. Often intentionally intensified through public acts. Cosplay - Short form of "Costume Play" referring to the used of attire and props during a Scene or Play, such as police, fantasy creatures, pop culture figures.
Made from multiple lashes attached to a handle. See also Breath Play Banding - Form of cock and ball torture using tight binding around the testicles to severely restrict bloodflow. Erotophonophilia - Sexual interest in the thought or act of oneself or others committing murder. Collar - A symbol used to denote the s-type's relationship, often referred to as "Collared by".
Kink gay speed dating dows - Practices someone doesn't wish to include, or requires additional negotiation around. Consent - The mutual agreement of all involved parties to the terms of a scene, dynamic, or relationship. This is a practice that left unchecked kink gay speed dating dows lead to dire financial situations for the s-type, and should be considered carefully.