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Q: Is it common for people to lie about their age or appearance at speed dating events? A: While photos online can be heavily filtered, it's a bit harder to completely fake it in person. However, some people might embellish their profession, height, or general accomplishments. It's more common than you might think.
Pegging - The act of, most commonly a female, using a strap on to anally penetrate a male. G Gag - 1 A device on or around the mouth to prevent speech. Fetishes are nontraditional sexual interests or behaviors kinks that are, for a particular individual, a deep and abiding and possibly even necessary element of sexual arousal and activity.
Fire Play - A scene involving the use of flammable liquid to create quick flashes of flame on the skin. Mentor Role - A trusted adviser or guide who has knowledge and experience. Harem - A group of s-types in service to one D-type. Pedovestism - Deriving sexual pleasure from dressing like a child. Irrumatio - The act of thrusting one's phallus into a partner's mouth and throat.
Frenzy - A dangerous headspace experienced by many newcomers to kink and BDSM, where the person actively seeks out experiences and partners, without showing due care for their well-being. PIV - Common acronym for penis-in-vagina. FemDom - Short form for Female Dominant or Female Domination, typically refers to a dynamic between a male s-type and female Dominant, but can encompass any female Dominant-led activities.
Hematolagnia - Sexual pleasure derived from blood and blood play. Lashes, or falls, are usually made from leather, suede, rope, or rubber. Asking these simple, straightforward questions generally ensures that a clients important sexual concerns issues that might underlie and drive more obvious problems like depression and anxiety arent overlooked. Microphilia - Sexual interest in tiny men or women.
Rack Furniture - Common item of BDSM furniture to which a bottom is bound by outstretched wrists kink gay speed dating allgood ankles, and then ropes are tightened to pull them further. The level and frequency varies greatly depending on the individual. Erotophonophilia - Sexual interest in the thought or act of oneself or others committing murder.
By posing queries and nonjudgmentally following up as indicated, we give clients permission to talk about their sex life and the ways in which it might be affecting them. Can be used as a prop, or for penetration. Dragon's Tail - A whip consisting of a handle, with a triangular piece of suede, leather, or similar. Hotwife - An attractive married female who participates in sex with other men, often whilst her husband watches or participates.
An emotional connection between the Top and bottom is often found. Emetophilia - Sexual interest in vomit. Also known as ippon nawa. Is there anything about your sexual or romantic life that feels shameful to you or that you work to keep secret? A key reason for Aftercare. This can be done with the intention of causing pain, or for decorative purposes.
Hair Bondage - Bondage technique involving securing the hair to limit mobility of the head or upper body. Protocol - A set of rules consensually agreed upon and adhered to by two or more individuals. Psycholagny - The ability to reach orgasm without the need for physical kink gay speed dating allgood, often through mental stimulation or fantasy.
Consideration should be given to the chance of serious infection. Open to many structures, a Pack is often headed by a Dominant, but may be Leather, age-playing, poly, or otherwise. Negotiation - Crucial communication ahead of a scene, play, or dynamic where limits, expectations, and other key elements are discussed. Raptophilia - Sexual interest in committing rape, consensual or non-consensual.
Predator Warning - Someone who preys on new and inexperienced kinksters, often causing real emotional and physical harm through abuse. Pyrophilia - Sexual interest in fire or arousal from intercourse with a burning corpse. K Kajir - Gorean term referring to a group of slaves of either gender. Differs from Mechanophilia in that it usually describes a deep emotional attachment to the object, which may include a "relationship".
Made from multiple lashes attached to a handle. Nipple Torture - The infliction of pain exclusively on the nipples. Hard Limit - Non-negotiable actions that a person will not do, and should never be coerced into. Quirofilia - Sexual interest in hands. Ranges from a quick conversation between the involved parties, or a formal written contract.
This may be the spouse, the other parent of a child, or purely by choice of the involved parties. Interrogation Play - A scenario, or Scene, in which the bottom is subjected to questioning, often in the form of torture or ruthless questioning from multiple sources. Paraphilia - A desire for or enjoyment of something which may or may not be sexual. Outing - The disclosure of someone's kinks, orientation, or identity against their will.
Often quite strict, the term New Leather follows a similar structure with less formality. Nyotaimori - A Japanese practice of serving sushi or sashimi upon the naked body of a female. Gimp Role - Someone who wears gimp attire; may be for the purpose of humiliation or objectification. Erotic Asphyxiation - Sexual interest in the asphyxia of oneself or others, also known as Breath Play.
Partialism - Deriving sexual pleasure from specific, non-genital body parts. Limits may evolve over time with exploration, but nobody should ever agree to something they're not comfortable with. Not to be confused with Edge Play. House - A group of individuals in a relationship who may or may not live together. Little - A form of s-type who roleplays a younger age typically up to May involve the use of toys, pacifiers, clothing, and occasionally adapting their voice, as well as affectionate, nurturing, and disciplinary practices.
Oculophilia - Sexual interest in or pleasure derived from eyeballs. Madame - Typically a woman who operates or owns a sex work operation. Forced Orgasms - The act of inducing orgasm against a person's will, or in spite of their instruction not to climax orgasm denial. Drop sub- Dom- Top- etc - An emotional state caused by the sudden drop of hormones after a Scene or Play.
Peodeiktophilia - Sexual interest in exposing one's penis. This is a form of edge play, and as such, should be approached with care. Retifism - Deriving sexual pleasure from shoes, feet, heels. Leather Lifestyle - Considered the precursor of BDSM structures, Leather is widely categorised by wearing leather, but breaks down further into Old and New styles, which may include formal training, etiquette, and protocols.
Ippon Nawa - Form of bondage using just one rope. Kink gay speed dating allgood the person in charge, setting the rules and safe practices one should respect when in attendance. Suggests all parties involved in a given kink gay speed dating allgood should be fully aware of the inherent risks prior to consenting to the activity. Menophilia - Sexual interest in menstruation.
Golden Shower - Colloquial term referring to urolagnia or watersports. Not to be confused with Edging. Power Exchange Dynamic - A dynamic where someone consensually yields authority over to another individual. Sometimes referred to as a Clan, Family, or Pack, depending on the dynamic in question. Paraphilias are fetishes that have escalated in ways that have resulted in negative life consequences.
R Race Play - A scene or scenario rooted in kink gay speed dating allgood stereotypes and power dynamics, such as slavery and segregation. LDR Long Distance Relationship - Acronym denoting a relationship over a significant distance, such kink gay speed dating allgood cross-country or overseas. Figging - The act of inserting prepared ginger root into the anus to illicit a burning sensation.
Paddle - An implement comprised of a broad flat surface with a handle at one end, often made of wood or leather. Prostate Massage - The act of stimulating the prostate using the finger or another object, to either enhance orgasm, or force ejaculation without orgasm. He says he wants to continue dating this woman, but he also wants to continue with the dominatrix.
Ederacinism - Sexual desire to remove one's own penis; often as a way to remove the parts that drive one to 'sin'. P Pack - A group of individuals in a relationship who may or may not live together. The opposite of transvestism. Nesting Partner - Denotes co-habiting partners, similar to the common setup of live-in a vanilla relationship, though they may not be primary partners in a Poly dynamic.
Generally paired in dynamics with a Daddy, Mommy, or Caregiver. Kink - An unconventional or unusual sexual preference or behaviour. NRE New Relationship Energy - The excitement and infatuation that comes from experiencing the beginning of a relationship. Munch - An informal social gathering of new and active members of a kink community.
Gynemimetophilia - Sexual interest in trans-women. Macrophilia - Sexual interest in giants, primarily domination by giant women or men. L Lactophilia - Sexual interest in breast milk. Also known as Rainbow Play. Used in the act of paddling during Impact Play, most commonly on the rear. Hybristophilia - Sexual interest in criminals, particularly for cruel or extremely violent crimes.
Fall - The striking end of a whip or flogger. And with good reason, because if you search the internet youll find a wide variety of definitions with quite a lot of overlap. The definition of 'edge play' can vary from person to person, but is widely used to refer to anything with the potential to be dangerous, damaging, or have long-lasting consequences.
Objectum Sexuality - Sexual or romantic attraction of a person towards an object. Consider the following client: Kevin, a year-old attorney, enters therapy for severe anxiety. Fear Play - Form of psychological play, uses real fear in a controlled manner. Protector role - Someone who acts as a mediator or screener for s-types. Puppy play may or may not involve a sexual component.
Handler - A D-type with a preference for pet play, acting as a care taker. Pearl Necklace - The act of kink gay speed dating allgood man ejaculating onto a neck. Masochism - Deriving sexual pleasure from being subjected to pain, physically or emotionally. FFM - Common acronym denoting a threesome involving two females and a male, where the females do interact with eachother.
Gun Play - A scene involving the use of one or more guns, whether loaded or unloaded. Metamour - The lover of a lover - consider the metamours to be the top of a V in a poly relationship, Microbranding - The use of a small heated poker to create a series of dots. As such, it is important for any initial queries to sound as neutral as possible.
Recognizing this, I find it useful to incorporate a few very basic sex-related questions into the initial assessment with every client. Ethical Non-Monogamy - general term used to describe all consensually non-monogamous relationships wherein open communication and respect between all partners is observed, whether they are long- or short-term.
Poly - Generally refers to someone who sustains multiple relationships at any given time. Limit - Practices someone doesn't wish to include, or requires additional negotiation around. O Objectification - The act of treating a person like an object, animate or otherwise. Homeovestism - Deriving sexual pleasure from wearing clothing of one's own gender.
Prey Primal - Akin to a bottom or submissive, but without the structure of protocols or rules that accompany it. Queer - An umbrella term to describe individuals who don't identify as straight or cisgender. Mindfuck - The act of toying with someone's mental state, causing confusion, delirium, or their perception of reality. This often involves humiliation and degradation.
Infibulation - The act of 'closing' the genitals, rendering them useless, often through suturing, glue, or piercings. Feeder - A person who takes pleasure in feeding a bottom to encourage weight gain. MMF - Common acronym denoting a threesome involving two males and a female, where the males do interact with eachother. Mucophilia - Sexual interest in mucus, i.
Commonly referred to as 'face fucking'. Kinbaku - Intentional form of bondage, translated as "tight binding", most commonly as form of restraint, or to cause pain. Often in reference to doctors, therapists, craftsmen, etc. Edge Play - Refers to a range of scene and play activities which are considered high-risk. Feminisation - The act of forcefully dressing someone in an overly feminine way, typically in an exaggerated manner with frilly dresses and makeup.
Internal Enslavement - A mental state where a slave or 'property' will see the roles of a kink gay speed dating allgood as integral and internal. This is a practice that left unchecked can lead to dire financial situations for the s-type, and should be considered kink gay speed dating allgood. Glory Hole - A hole in a kink gay speed dating allgood used to perform anonymous sex acts, often in public settings such as bathrooms.
Open to many structures, a House is often headed by a Dominant, but may be Leather, age-playing, poly, or otherwise. Open to many structures, a Family is often headed by a Dominant, but may be Leather, age-playing, poly, or otherwise. Predator Primal - Akin to a Dominant, but without the structure of protocols or rules that accompany it.
We let them know that its OK safe to discuss their sexual life in treatment, however much shame they may be feeling about it. Keraunophilia - Sexual interest in thunderstorms. Monogamish - Colloquial term for a primarily monogamous relationship, where partners may partake in sexual encounters. Hood - A covering over the entire head. Generally, a poly relationship dynamic is consensual between all involved.
Unfortunately, this role is open to misuse, so a potential mentor should be considered carefully. Femme - A female-identifying person, usually in contrast to a Butch counterpart such as in lesbian couplingsbut also encompasses feminine gay, bisexual, or trans men. Most commonly, males with exaggerated makeup, hair, and female attire, known as Drag Queens.
Podophilia - Sexual interest in feet. Odaxelagnia - Arousal caused by biting, or being bitten. Flogging - The act of striking someone with a flogger. Eualgia - Known as "good pain"; as opposed to unbearable pain or agony. Online, a protector is often the first port-of-call before you message a user. Nipple Clamps - A clamp device designed or adapted for use on the nipples to restrict blood flow or cause a 'tugging' sensation in predicaments.
Because objectification is so varied, it is incredibly important to communicate limits and ensure mutual consent prior to engaging in this activity. Failsafe - Used in bondage, allows the bottom to escape the arrangement in case of emergency. F Facesitting - The act of sitting on another's face, generally to facilitate oral-genital or oral-anal contact.
Hooks Suspension - Weight-bearing metal hooks designed for suspension of the human form; placed in key points around the body to support the weight. May or may not be sexual to either party. Mammaphilia - Sexual interest in breasts; also known as mammagynophilia and mastofact. Some Gorean practitioners do so without the use of practices like bondage, discipline, etc.
A kink, a fetish, and a paraphilia can involve the same behavior, but the role that behavior plays and the effects it has can be very different depending on the person. May also refer to a D-type who enjoys brat taming. Pictophilia - Sexual interest in pornography or erotic art, particularly pictures. Enderacinism - Deriving sexual pleasure from the act or thought of tearing out sexual organs by the roots.
MtF - A male to female transgender. Sometimes referred to as a Clan, House, or Pack, depending on the dynamic in question. Pony Role - Someone who participates in pony play; a mental form of BDSM focused on being in the headspace of a pony, but often involving mouth bits, bridles, saddles, tails, and hoof boots. May or may not have an opening for the mouth and nose.
Hooks Anal - A metal hook with a plug for insertion into the anus, and kink gay speed dating allgood loop on the other end to be attached to the hair or rope for predicaments. A hands-on approach may involve vetting and evaluating potential partners, or recommending safe practices. High Protocol - The mutual practice of strict, almost militant, rules and expectations between a Dominant and a submissive in a power dynamic.
Moreover, it is causing significant and ongoing stress and anxiety, affecting both his social and work life. Gimp Attire - Masks and suits, often leather, latex, or PVC, worn as a form of bondage to restrain the wearer. Moreover, it is only when the behavior is taken to an extreme that results in negative life consequences that its viewed as a disorder.
Milking - The act of forcing a male to ejaculate without necessarily experiencing orgasm. Piquerism - Deriving sexual pleasure from the thought or act of penetration of another person, most commonly by stabbing or cutting the body with sharp objects. N Nantaimori - A Japanese practice of serving sushi or sashimi upon the naked body of a male.
FFF - Common acronym denoting an all-female - male - male threesome. MMM - Common acronym denoting an all-male threesome. Most commonly, a mentor will be on the same side of the slash as the mentee, and the two will not play together. Klismaphilia - Sexual interest in the usage of enemas. Green Flag - A positive indicator about a potential partner, such as humility, understanding, patience, honesty.
Also known as Sissification. The basic behavior, consuming alcohol, is the same, but the underpinnings, impact, and long-term effects are quite different depending on the person. Felching - The act of licking or sucking bodily fluids from the anus. A few non-threatening questions I typically ask are: Do you have any concerns about your current or past sexual or romantic behaviors?
FinDom - Short form for Financial Dominant or Financial Domination, where an s-type will give sums of money to the Dominant, sometimes with nothing in return. Can be used as a form of punishment or control. Hebephilia - Sexual interest in early pubescent children. Rape Play - A scene or scenario in which the bottom is forced to have sex - performed consensually, but roleplayed as if not.
FtM - A female to male transgender. Frotteurism - Deriving sexual pleasure from rubbing against a non-consenting person.
Q: What if the quiz suggests seeing someone more/less often than I'm comfortable with?A: The results are a suggestion, not a mandate. Ultimately, the best frequency is what feels right for you and your dating partner. Trust your gut and communicate honestly about your needs and boundaries.
When asked a few basic questions about his sex life, he says that for the last several years he has been hiring a dominatrix a few times per month, paying her to physically and verbally humiliate him. Orgasm control involves one partner bringing the other up to, but not past, the point of climax. Mysophilia - Sexual interest in dirtiness, or soiled or decaying things.
Getting off on handjobs, fisting, fingering or massaging, as well as hands doing everyday things, such as typing. Exhibitionism - Deriving sexual pleasure from exposing oneself sexually to others, with or without the consent of others or even the one being exposed. Pinwheel - A small tool with a metal wheel lined with small needlepoint metal spikes around the outer edge, used for sensation play.
Keyholder - An individual holding the key to a chastity device, and therefore the power to grant or deny orgasm. Punishment - A corrective measure, often inflicted as the result of rule breaking or disobedience. Not all females have the ability to ejaculate. OPP One Penis Policy - An agreement between an open or poly couple where the woman may have multiple female lovers, but not male.
Knismolagnia - Arousal caused by tickling. Mommy - Caregiving variant of a D-type role within a power dynamic, often with nurturing and gentle practices. Master Leather - A person who has achieved expert proficiency in a particular skill set, or an indicator of how long someone has been involved in the community kink or otherwise.
Gangbang - Historically, an act of raping someone committed by several people at the same time; the act of one person most commonly female having sex with several men at once. Impact Play - Common form of activities involving one person striking another, such as spanking, flogging, caning, paddling. Mummification - The act of immobilising the body through wrapping in multiple layers.
Human Pet - Often, a well-treated s-type with companionship and affection as their acts of service; often differs from pet play in that there are no animal behaviours involved. Knife Play - A scene involving the use of one or more knives, from either side of the slash. Also known as Queening. In my work, I tend to define kinks as nontraditional sexual behaviors that people sometimes use to spice things up, but that they can take or leave depending on their partner, their mood, etc.
Edging - Similar to orgasm control and denial; involves bringing someone repeatedly to the brink of climax, but denying the payoff. The act of one partner urinating on another, or less commonly upon oneself. Can be self-inflicted. Often shortened to KH. Kidnapping Play - A scenario, or Scene, in which the bottom is restrained and taken to another location, often by force.
Unfortunately, many therapists and clients are uncomfortable discussing sexual issues. Can be a surface-level activity, or used for deep tissue bruising. See Objectum Sexuality. Florentine - An artistic form of flogging, creating a figure-8 shape with a flogger in each hand. Primary - Someone within a poly dynamic given the most time and priority.
Flogger - A tool commonly used in impact play. Red Flag - A negative indicator about a potential partner, such as breaking promises or limits, gaslighting, lack of accountability, dishonesty. Consider as an analogy the difference between a casual drinker, a heavy drinker, and an alcoholic. He also says that twice in the past year he has started dating a woman he liked, only to break up kink gay speed dating allgood her because the stress of his compartmentalized sexual life felt overwhelming to him.
Reward - Positive reinforcement to condition behaviour, such as treats, positive affirmation, or preferred activities, dependent on the s-types preference. The identity of the s-type is ingrained and considered 'total'. If BDSM was something Kevin engaged in occasionally with his partner s for a little bit of extra fun during sex, we would say hes got a kink.
Middle - A form of s-type who roleplays a younger age typically 11 to May involve sexual curiosity, watching targeted TV shows, or clothing. Pygophilia - Sexual interest in buttocks. Female Ejaculation - The expulsion of bodily fluids from the Skene gland via the urethra. May involve anger, depression, guilt, feelings of inferiority, loneliness, or detachment.
Ponies may be for show, for riding, or to pull their D-type in a cart. Power exchange is often psychologically and emotionally intense, so clear guidelines to such a practice is key. Preggophilia - Sexual interest in pregnant people. NSA No Strings Attached - An agreement between partners where the relationship is based purely on physical connection, with no emotional attachment.
May refer to a corner of the house or an entire building hosting BDSM parties. Often entirely dependent upon how a given Leather family defines the term. The arrangement may or may not be sexual. Sometimes referred to as a Clan, Family, or House, depending on the dynamic in question. FLR Female Led Relationship - Common acronym denoting a power exchange dynamic, where the authority lies with the female.
Similar to Squirting. Lolita - An ageplaying s-type typically fulfilling the role of a precocious year old. Oculolinctus - Sexual pleasure derived from licking someone's eyeball. Fluid Bonding - The act of wilfully, and consensually, choosing to remove barriers such as condoms from sexual activity with a partner. Predicament Bondage - Intentional bondage designed to put the bottom in an awkward or uncomfortable position, often as a challenge for them to overcome.
Most often exerts control over one or more submissives, who most commonly identify as slaves. Plushie - 1 Someone who plays with stuffed animals. Kleptophilia - Sexual interest in stealing; also known as kleptolagnia. Merinthophilia - Sexual interest in tying someone up or being tied up with rope or similar material. Hedonism - The pursuit of one's own pleasure.
Gerontophilia - Sexual interest in the elderly. Mental Bondage - A psychological form of bondage; remaining in position through instruction only. Pet Play - A kink involving one or more participants behaving as a pet, with or without the presence of one or more individuals playing the role of the "owner". Also known as the honeymoon phase.
I Ichinawa - Form of bondage using just one rope. This is somewhat subjective. Necrophilia - Sexual interest in corpses. Kajirus - Gorean term for a male slave. Notably, it is not the behavior itself that is pathologized. Fluid Exchange - Generally refers to any activity where fluid transfer may occur, such as penetrative sexual intercourse, kissing, oral sex, etc, as well as blood play.
He also says kink gay speed dating allgood he has recently started dating a woman he met kink gay speed dating allgood another attorney, and he is afraid that if they have sex she will notice the many marks and bruises that he nearly always has on various parts of his body. This forms a tapered hollow point at the striking end.
Family - A group of individuals in a relationship who may or may not live together. Kajira - Gorean term for a female slave. Hog Tie - Bondage technique binding the ankles and wrists together behind the back. Also known as face-sitting. Has anyone ever expressed concern about your sexual or romantic behaviors? He also feels like his performance at work is suffering because of his anxiety.
Also known as cell popping. Funishment - A light-hearted form of punishment or discipline, often allowing the bottom to enjoy the sensations, as opposed to serious retribution. At this point, some readers may be wondering exactly what I mean when I use the words kink, fetish, and paraphilia. Paramour - Typically, an illicit lover of a married person.
Harness - 1 Bondage attire used for suspension. This fluid is a different composition to urine, and is generally expelled during an orgasm or high stimulation. Nasophilia - Sexual interest in noses. Needle Play - A scene involving the use of needles, from either side of the slash. Failure to do so may result in you being ignored. In such cases, a clients sexual concerns might only come to light while exploring the clients self-esteem, failed relationships, substance abuse, unresolved early-life trauma, mood disorders, etc.
Fellatio - The act of oral sex performed on a male. Used historically as a derogatory slur, some members of the community are against its use, whilst others embrace it to try and reclaim ownership. Anything from touching to restraints to cages or chastity belts can be used to deny someone an orgasm. This building up to and then backing down is also referred to as edging, and can intensify kink gay speed dating allgood sensations of an orgasm.
Orgasm Denial - The practice of denying someone the ability to have an orgasm. Commonly a form of humiliation. Narratophilia - Sexual interest in dirty talk, usually with obscene words. He is unwilling to tell his new girlfriend about his sexual arousal patterns, and this is creating a great deal of stress and anxiety. Forniphilia - Sexual interest in human furniture play.
Orgasm Control - The practice of controlling whether or not, and when, someone is able to have an orgasm. Masochist - Someone who derives pleasure from being subjected to pain, physically or emotionally. He says he does not become physically aroused while this is occurring, but after the dominatrix leaves he masturbates furiously. Green kink gay speed dating allgood are subjective dependent upon the desired connection.
Also known as ichinawa. Rather, it is the way in which it affects Kevin that is pathologized. However, the behavior is clearly a primary element of Kevins sexual life, elevating BDSM the level of a fetish. Often intentionally intensified through public acts. Suggests every individual who engages should have a complete understanding of the risks associated with an activity, and full knowledge and acceptance of any potential consequences that may be incurred as a result.
Gorean Gor - Specific lifestyle choice based on the novels kink gay speed dating allgood sci-fi writer John Norman. Pain Slut - A masochist who enjoys receiving a heavy degree of pain. Frottage - The act of rubbing one's body against someone for sexual arousal. This can be considered a form of edge play and should be approached carefully and consensually.
Often deems themselves 'too old' to enjoy Little-specific activities. Olfactophilia - Sexual interest in different scents.