Intimacy-first gay dating thermopolis
Michael S: "I appreciated the tips on what to expect at a speed dating event. It made me feel more prepared."
We could figure this out. Sorry to interrupt you. A lot of that, that it resonated with the shame. So the question is what unique challenges do gay men face when it comes to developing intimacy? This is catty energy in the gay community. We, so we all have the CPO sexual side of us. We spent a couple hours of the day just getting all the shit done.
So for me, safety really is intimacy or like an opening door to intimacy. It really does take time. But we need to do some of that healing work first, before we can access it. So if you do want connection and deep intimacy, then you have to learn to use all of the equipment at the gym. And then the grand canyon, Las Vegas, like all that kind of stuff.
And so throughout the experience, we were like laying on the floor on yoga mats. Especially with me. And it gave me an opportunity to really just share these deeper parts of, of myself. So I think some examples of, of what that looks like could help illustrate what intimacy can look like outside of sex. But then you go to the gym and you just work on one machine or one exercise over and over and over.
And like that months, months, months, long span. And then a lot of us have attachment, right? So we are set up intimacy-first gay dating thermopolis have that energy of like being authentic and, you know, moving towards intimacy and vulnerability and intimacy-first gay dating thermopolis things. So thank you. So, so start out with insurance. I want to piggyback then off of what calendars ended up with talking about how kind of rely on sex.
You know what I mean? Like, she knows what I need in a situation. How do I do that without relying on my body? Like, do you just want the sex part? I think. And I was even having trouble making eye contact. And then taking it to the gay side of things. And I think that those two things really impact our ability as gay men to connect with one another because we, what that, what, what shame does and even attachment trauma, it, it tells us to reject ourselves, right?
This shit is like this. And then B how do I do that? And then we develop a strong, deep seated fear of rejection because when we are rejecting ourselves, whether on a conscious level or an unconscious level, and then we experience rejection outside of us, it stimulates all of that wounding. And that was one that had a mix of the, you know, sexual in there, but it was mostly like internet intellectually base for that intimacy.
So Yeah. And I know what she needs in intimacy-first gay dating thermopolis situation. I absolutely advocate for that too. And they compartmentalize it all. I was very selective on the parts. That really takes time. I, I created a video at the beginning of this whole thing. Thank you guys for sharing that. And that also is work trust construct.
Enjoying life in a great spot is sometimes tough, but going in the area of East F Street, Casper is your best bet. Very, very good stuff. So I wrote down here not feeling safe, to be authentic, not feeling safe to share emotions, I think is a huge part of this. And then of course communication skills.
Q: Should I focus on future-oriented or past-oriented questions?A: A mix is good! Asking about past experiences can reveal a person's personality, while future-oriented questions can help you gauge compatibility regarding goals and aspirations.
We all shared different aspects and different types of relationships. And then that, you know, safety basically parallels intimacy intimacy-first gay dating thermopolis that safety can then allow the intimacy to come through. What are we going to intimacy-first gay dating thermopolis And a lot of my intimacy moments is probably come more from friends.
And I felt like, oh my God, like she can see into my soul. Feeling vulnerable. And in the, you know, intimacy sense, that includes things like learning, how to be you learning how to just be authentic. They have unresolved shame from growing up and feeling different and, and you know, all the social conditioning we get around being gay. But again, it has all the trademark aspects of intimacy, vulnerability, trusting each other, being present with each other, working together as a team.
I want to second what you both said. Our fears, insecurities needs and desires. Excuse me. This intimacy-first gay dating thermopolis too much. We have trauma the world around me. Like we just talked about and you can also have sex without intimacy, which Connelly kind of briefly talked about there. I think patience is a really good point as well.
And so then that allows the other person to then have that opportunity to see in. And so that was the, probably the most recent exchange where it was a really, really intense and yeah. What do we do? So yeah, I would, I would say probably really important elements to intimacy for me would be sharing in a vulnerable, in a vulnerable way.
Oh my gosh, hi. I think those are all very vulnerable things to share with, with somebody else. Like this is too intense for me. And I dealt with getting the accommodations. What about for you callin? We basically walk you through a six week journey of learning how to understand your shame. Like She said this, Yeah. Is it feels awkward. So we got shame.
And I had an opportunity about a month ago to watch it over again. I feel, I feel inclined to share a bit of a story actually, to kind of lead into this. I really, really wanted intimacy, but it scared the shit out of me. Which we can have intimacy with all different kinds of people, including straight women, gay women, family members, whoever that may be one came to me actually, while you were speaking their talent.
And intimacy-first gay dating thermopolis know, you look at what those two things are going to create, right? And, you know, whatever balance works for you works for you. And it really, really makes it challenging to put ourselves out there, be vulnerable, talk about our fears or insecurities, be authentic. And so, but I never felt unfulfilled.
And it was really raw, but we ended up doing a psilocybin ceremony, which for me, it like exacerbates my rawness, my sensitivities, everything. That is what a relationship is about. I love that. So I think part of it is knowing what you truly want. It kind of allowed us to kind of sidestep the intimacy part and go straight to the sex part.
So I have this Venn diagram. If me and you are, you are emotionally available and you were present during the sexual encounter. And it, it just felt really, really good to have somebody take a genuine interest in me, but she was asking me some really deep questions and it gave me an opportunity to like go into, you know, my childhood, my past relationships.
Should we explain what sapiosexual is to people who are listening? And I think to generalize it now into the gay community, I think a lot of men, a lot of gay men share that story, right? So well said, both of you. So you decide to go to the gym. Go do it fine. And I had unresolved attachment trauma. Yeah, I completely agree. I felt shame. But now I think our generations and the younger generations are starting to do the work to say, fuck, that something needs to change.
And like, there was some sexual illness and there was like kissing and cuddling and all that. And then we developed sex really good. What about for you Collin? The first one is Michael, you were talking about like traveling with people and you know, it can be intimate and all that. I love those examples of how they both used, you know, relationships that were platonic even with like women, right.
A multitude of visitors from distinctive places visit USA to enjoy the pinnacle of celebrations that compete with the best in the nation. Locals highly rate the early opening hours as an added charm. And what came from that, like, I always think intimacy is just this really beautiful container that allows us to kind of really feel so connected to somebody, you know, and I felt really connected to her.
Cool, great job.
A: Check your university's student union or clubs; they often host free or low-cost social events. Also, look for online groups focused on local events and dating discounts.So we were having to scramble to put our heads together, having to problem, solve, having to do some teamwork, which is always a turn on again, being that, in that thing, that mental stimulation, okay, how do we get through this? So Very, very, very well said. Like we were together for a few months, but we only, I think we only had sex like twice and we only fooled around like maybe two or three times.
And we just know what the other one needs. And that makes, makes perfect sense because if we want to feel, if you want to feel vulnerable, we want to feel safe to do so. I really, really, there was a lot of dissonance. So it just kind of exacerbated that whole experience. I just, I really liked to take my time with it. I want to underline that piggyback off at everything.
And we hang out and I was having one of those days intimacy-first gay dating thermopolis I was feeling just extremely raw. You see? What about you, Michael? My other example that I was going to use is with respect to my relationship with my partner. Understand its legacy and explore the ideal places for enjoying yourself while there.
One of the things that we wanted to do in this podcast is underlined the fact that intimacy can be sexual. I feel a little safe. Like this makes no sense. And that could look like a lot of different things. We did this divide and conquer thing. And that takes time. And we were just like, you know, just moving through our journey, you know what I mean?
So I think one of the challenges when it comes to intimacy for gay men is exactly that putting all of those, having this need for intimacy and connection and doing it only through the means of sex. And then towards the end, as things kind of calmed down a little bit, we, we just kind of settled into this really beautiful energy where we were just, you know, she was in this really beautiful energy of curiosity, just wanting to learn about me, wanting to know about me.
I was a bit of a cold getting to that space of safety with another person. Like that is what intimacy is about. Because there must be something wrong with us. And then I do want to say this about my second ex, because my second ex and I were very much an intellectual, like sapiosexual relationship. And there, there was a lot there. One from the very best items you'll be able to do in Cheyenne will be intimacy-first gay dating thermopolis go out at night and meet new consumers in fresh gay meeting places like Best Western Hitching Post Inn and events around the city like costume parties or blind dates.
And I really enjoyed that aspect of just having somebody to like, have those deeper conversations with who was just like really there. So I very much, and, you know, love intimacy-first gay dating thermopolis mental stimulation quite a bit, turns me on to see someone in their element turns me on to see that. But a specific example recently would be just a few weeks ago when we were in Mexico.
Well, thinking back to that video, right? So very quickly save your sexuality would be people who are aroused, physically turned on by mental stimulation of any kind. At least not to the depths that I think are required in order for us to be fully seen. Because we grew up in family systems that reject us for being gay. So now I want to talk about why looking at it from the gay lens specifically, why intimacy is so hard specifically or so challenging for gay men.