Intimacy-first gay dating morrow
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Boop, hands go up. So give us your best tips guys. You may also feel free, however, to be a little less attentive towards your partner because you know the relationship can handle it. What happens when you externalize it? Should we explain what sapiosexual is to people who are listening? So talk about it. Excuse me. What about for you callin?
You may even begin to feel a little bored like the spark has gone out of your relationship. Like this is too intense for me. So it just kind of exacerbated that whole experience. So now I want to talk about why looking at it from the gay lens specifically, why intimacy is so intimacy-first gay dating morrow specifically or so challenging for gay men.
I love that. I absolutely advocate for that too. I find that like a S like something like side-by-side intimacy might be nice. This shit is like this. So if you intimacy-first gay dating morrow want connection and deep intimacy, then you have to learn to use all of the equipment at the gym. And they compartmentalize it all. You sense that making your union official is important and you want to share your joy with your friends and family.
So we are set up to have that energy of like being authentic and, you know, moving towards intimacy and vulnerability and these things. Like we just talked about and you can also have sex without intimacy, which Intimacy-first gay dating morrow kind of briefly talked about there. And like that months, months, months, long span. I really, really, there was a lot of dissonance.
And, you know, whatever balance works for you works for you. So, so start out with insurance. We see that in the group. If me and you are, you are emotionally available and you were present during the sexual encounter. But ultimately, you create your own story, and hopefully, that story will have a happy ending. The next question is how many gay men here have trust issues?
What if they reject me? We did this divide and conquer thing. Can you think of some ways to improve your mutual level of happiness? The first one is Michael, you were talking about like traveling with people and you know, it can be intimate and all that. But then you go to the gym and you just work on one machine or one exercise over and over and over. Your mind may stray to better times with other people, and you may wonder how things would have turned out if you had stayed with this or that person.
So you decide to go to the gym. And then B how do I do that? Are you taking each other for granted? Feeling vulnerable. We have challenges trusting. I want to underline that piggyback off at everything. Is your current life view related to the relationship, or is it something else? And then a lot of us have attachment, right? And then we developed sex really good.
We spent a couple hours of the day just getting all the shit done. But now I think our generations and the younger generations are starting to do the work to say, fuck, that something needs to change. So I wrote down here not feeling safe, to be authentic, not feeling safe to share emotions, I think is a huge part of this. You feel truly connected to your partner, safe, and secure.
This is too much. And then we develop a strong, deep seated fear of rejection because when we are rejecting ourselves, whether on a conscious level or an unconscious level, and then we experience rejection outside of us, it stimulates all of that wounding. What about you, Michael? So I think one of the challenges when it comes to intimacy for gay men is exactly that putting all of those, having this need for intimacy and connection and doing it only through the means of sex.
Q: Are there Black-specific dating sites that focus on casual encounters?Because we grew up in family systems that reject us for being gay. We basically walk you through a six week journey of learning how to understand your shame. And I really enjoyed that aspect of just having somebody to like, have those deeper conversations with who was just like really there. Oh my gosh, hi. This is a time where you might want to invest some effort into examining your own personal goals and how they fit in with your relationship goals.
And I had unresolved attachment trauma. And in the, you know, intimacy sense, that includes things like learning, how to be you learning how to just be authentic. This is catty energy in the gay community. We want intimacy yet. And there, there was a lot there. Is your partner feeling the intimacy-first gay dating morrow thing?
And then of course communication skills. You know what I mean? Yeah, I completely agree. Like, she knows what I need in a situation. And then the grand canyon, Las Vegas, like all that kind of stuff.
David S: "Concise and informative. The FAQ helped me understand the differences between dating sites that are more casual versus those that are geared towards serious relationships."And then towards the end, as things kind of calmed down a little bit, we, we just kind of settled into this really beautiful energy where we were just, you know, she was in this really beautiful intimacy-first gay dating morrow of curiosity, just wanting to learn about me, wanting to know about me. And I know what she needs in a situation. Cool, great job.
And then taking it to the gay side of things. But a specific example recently would be just a few weeks ago when we were in Mexico. And remember that you have a hand in how your love life takes shape. And so, but I never felt unfulfilled. Well, thinking back to that video, right? And I think that those two things really impact our ability as gay men to connect with one another because we, what that, what, what shame does and even attachment trauma, it, it tells us to reject ourselves, right?
And so throughout the experience, we were like laying on the floor on yoga mats. Sorry to interrupt you. Because there must be something wrong with us. This is the relationship stage where many couples split. So thank you. Thank you guys for sharing that. This is a vital gay relationship stage in your relationship and one that requires open communication in order to move through it successfully.
And that was one that had a mix of the, you know, sexual in there, but it was mostly like internet intellectually base for that intimacy. How do I do that without relying on my body? We, so we all have the CPO sexual side of us. We all shared different aspects and different types of relationships. And then I do want to say this about my second ex, because my second ex and I were very much an intellectual, like sapiosexual relationship.
And that could look like a lot of different things. This is the relationship stage where you begin thinking of moving towards a more formal commitment. I felt shame. So we got shame. And I had an opportunity about a month ago to watch it over again. I think nervous, nervous system co-regulation I think is a really great strategy.
So well said, both of you. And it, it just felt really, really good to have somebody take a genuine interest in me, but she was asking me some really deep questions and it gave me an opportunity to like go into, you know, my childhood, my past relationships. The bottom line If you are just starting out in your gay relationship, know that your situation is unique and may not follow these gay relationship stages exactly.
All the things that you guys just talked about. So I very much, and, you know, love that mental stimulation quite a bit, turns me on to see someone in their element turns me on to see that. And it was really raw, but we ended up doing a psilocybin ceremony, which for me, it like exacerbates my rawness, my sensitivities, everything. And I dealt with getting the accommodations.
You gotta be willing to be with yourself. If gay marriage is legal where you live, you make plans to tie the knot. What are we going to do? I love those examples of how they both used, you know, relationships that were platonic even with like women, right. I want to second what you both said. So very quickly save your sexuality would be people who are aroused, physically turned on by mental stimulation of any kind.
Like, do you just want the sex part? And so that was the, probably the most recent exchange where it was a really, really intense and yeah. And we hang out and I was having one of those days where I was feeling just extremely raw. So I think part of it is knowing what you truly want. And it really, really makes it challenging to put ourselves out there, be vulnerable, talk about intimacy-first gay dating morrow fears or insecurities, be authentic.
I think. So we were having to scramble to put our heads together, having to problem, solve, having to do some teamwork, which is always a turn on again, being that, in that thing, that mental stimulation, okay, how do we get through this? I was very selective on the parts. In this relationship stage, things can go a couple of ways: You either work on keeping the relationship a loving one in words and in acts, or you decide that you need some breathing room and may take a break from the relationship to allow yourselves time to decide if recommitting is something that you want to invest in.
Like She said this, Yeah. Very, very good stuff. Is it melts away. So before we wrap up, we know we love to leave our audience with some helpful tips. I think, you know, having it be like a dance, right? And it gave me an opportunity to really just share these deeper parts of, of myself. And I was even intimacy-first gay dating morrow trouble making eye contact.
And then it can start to feel, yeah. So I want to hear from you guys, how can you nurture intimacy in any kind of relationships? And we were just like, you know, just moving through our journey, you know what I mean? So that can look like, you know, sinking up your nervous systems, breathing together, cuddling, hugging anything. Or we have challenges with being vulnerable.
It kind of allowed us to kind of sidestep the intimacy part and go straight to the sex part. And we just know what the other one needs. Like we were together for a few intimacy-first gay dating morrow, but we only, I think we only had sex like twice and we only fooled around like maybe two or three times. And I think to generalize it now into the gay community, I think a lot of men, a lot of gay men share that story, right?
We could figure this out. We fear the, the, the things you need to, to get to at the intimacy, the vulnerability, all that good stuff, being me, letting myself be seen. I think for a lot of people, myself included, I feared that for a really long time. And therefore we fear the very thing that we want. So Very, very, very well said.
They have unresolved shame from growing up and feeling different and, and you know, all the social conditioning we get around being gay. But again, it has all the trademark aspects of intimacy, vulnerability, trusting each other, being present with each other, working together as a team. Feel safe to open up and be authentic for people who really struggle with intimacy.
Which we can have intimacy with all different kinds of people, including straight women, gay women, family members, whoever that may be one came to me actually, while you were speaking their intimacy-first gay dating morrow. We have trauma the world around me. A lot of that, that it resonated with the shame. I want to piggyback then off of what calendars ended up with talking about how kind of rely on sex.
At least not to the depths that Intimacy-first gay dating morrow think are required in order for us to be fully seen. Go do it fine. And I felt like, oh my God, like she can see into my soul. Is it feels awkward. My other example that I was going to use is with respect to my relationship with my partner. You start to connect with that part of yourself, downward into your body.
And you know, you look at what those two things are going to create, right? So the question is what unique challenges do gay men face when it comes to developing intimacy? I really, really wanted intimacy, but it scared the shit out of me. You might arrive late to your date night dinner because your work kept you at the office, or neglect to send love texts as much as you did during the infatuation stage.
But we need to do some of that healing work first, before we can access it. Those are my tips. And like, there was intimacy-first gay dating morrow sexual illness and there was like kissing and cuddling and all that. So I have this Venn diagram. And what came from that, like, I always think intimacy is just this really beautiful container that allows us to kind of really feel so connected to somebody, you know, and I felt really connected to her.
So something that I really like is like a questions game, right? What do we do?