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When asked a few basic questions about his sex life, he says that for the last several years he has been hiring a dominatrix a few times per month, paying her to physically and verbally humiliate him. Rack Furniture - Common item of BDSM furniture to which a bottom is bound by outstretched wrists and ankles, and then ropes are tightened to pull them further.
U Unicorn - Most commonly refers to a bisexual female who is willing to join an existing couple for a threesome. Singletail - Any type of whip with only one lash. This can be with the same partner, or with multiple partners who draw out a particular aspect of their kink identity. Vorarephilia - Sexual interest in the thought or act of devouring others whole or being swallowed whole.
Trichophilia - Sexual interest in hair. Paddle - An implement comprised of a broad flat surface with a handle at one end, often made of wood or leather. Reward - Positive reinforcement to condition behaviour, such as treats, positive affirmation, or preferred activities, dependent on the s-types preference. Vixen - A female whose male partner Stag enjoys watching her gain sexual gratification with another man.
Oculophilia - Sexual interest in or pleasure derived from eyeballs. Other somewhat outr possibilities include: Anthropophagy: Ingesting human flesh Chremastistophilia: Being robbed or held up Eproctophilia: Flatulence Formicophilia: Being crawled on by insects Lactophilia: Breast milk Symphorophilia: Witnessing or staging disasters, such as fires and car accidents Teratophilia: Deformed or monstrous people Just so you know, if theres a psychological term for it, at least a few people are into it.
This may be playful and enjoyable for the Top in some dynamics. Nasophilia - Sexual interest in noses. Kinbaku - Intentional form of bondage, translated as "tight binding", most commonly as form of restraint, or to cause pain. Failure to do so may result in you being ignored. O Objectification - The act of treating a person like an object, animate or otherwise.
Generally, a poly relationship dynamic is consensual between all involved. He also says that twice in the past year he has started dating a woman he liked, only to break up with her because the stress of his compartmentalized sexual life felt overwhelming to him. Because objectification is so varied, it is incredibly important to communicate limits and ensure kink gay speed dating luzern consent prior to engaging in this activity.
Urethral Play - A scene involving the urinary passage. Vampirism - Deriving sexual pleasure from blood play. Often the opening element of abduction, rape, or kidnapping play. See Objectum Sexuality. Used historically as a derogatory slur, some members of the community are against its use, whilst others embrace it to try and reclaim ownership.
Milking - The act of forcing a male to ejaculate without necessarily experiencing orgasm. Madame - Typically a woman who operates or owns a sex work operation. Safeword - A word or phrase used to slow down or stop a scene. This form of play can intensify other senses, or be tied into fear play. Paraphilias are fetishes that have escalated in ways that have resulted in negative life consequences.
A Top may or may not be Kink gay speed dating luzern Topping From The Bottom - An attempt by a submissive or bottom to manipulate a situation to have their own needs met. Protector role - Someone who acts as a mediator or screener for s-types. MtF - A male to female transgender. Range from domestic service only to strictly sexual to a total power exchange TPE.
The extent to which someone submits is between the s-type and their D-type. Scat Play - A scene or play involving faeces. This building up to and then backing down is also referred to as edging, and can intensify the sensations of an orgasm. Urolagnia - Arousal caused by urine, particularly urination in public. Voice Play - A form of psychological play in which the Top uses particular turns of phrase or tone to illicit a response in the bottom.
Paraphilia - A desire for or enjoyment of something which may or may not be sexual. Service - Activities performed by an s-type for the benefit of the D-type, ie chores, errands, sexual activity. Whilst there are always safety considerations and many commonalities, there is no one true way to participate in kink and BDSM in a way that you enjoy.
Orgasm control involves one partner bringing the other up to, but not past, the point of climax. This fluid is not 'true' ejaculate as it shares many chemical components with urine. Often compared to feeling as if one is 'floating'. Especially useful on areas still healing, or publicly visible areas. T Takedown - A scenario or scene in which a bottom is pursued and caught, followed by restraint.
May also refer to someone almost mythical in one's expectations. Mentor Role - A trusted adviser or guide who has knowledge and experience. Nyotaimori - A Japanese practice of serving sushi or sashimi upon the naked body of a female. The level and frequency varies greatly depending on the individual. Snowballing - The act of transferring semen from one mouth to another through kissing.
This may be the spouse, the other parent of a child, or purely by choice of the involved parties. Pictophilia - Sexual interest in pornography or erotic art, particularly pictures. Technosexuality - Attraction to robots or people dressed as robots. Sthenolagnia - Arousal caused by muscles or displays of strength; often related to muscle worship. A handle containing a high-voltage coil and interchangeable electrodes, most commonly made of glass and filled with a gas which glows a brilliant purple.
Pet Play - A kink involving one or more participants behaving as a pet, with or without the presence of one or more individuals playing the role of the "owner". Pony Role - Someone who participates in pony play; a mental form of BDSM focused on being in the headspace of a pony, but often involving mouth bits, bridles, saddles, tails, and hoof boots.
A kink, a fetish, and a paraphilia can involve the same behavior, but the role that behavior plays and the effects it has can be very different depending on the person. Also known as face-sitting. Sjambok - A heavy leather whip with a tapered length, resembling a crop but more flexible. Mucophilia - Sexual interest in mucus, i. Leather Lifestyle - Considered the precursor of BDSM structures, Leather is widely categorised by wearing leather, but breaks down further into Old and New styles, which may include formal training, etiquette, and protocols.
Kajirus - Gorean term for a male slave. Poly - Generally refers to someone who sustains multiple relationships at any given time. MMF - Common acronym denoting a threesome involving two males and a female, where the males do interact with eachother. Sissification - The act of forcefully dressing someone in an overly feminine way, typically in an exaggerated manner with frilly dresses and makeup.
Mindfuck - The act of toying with someone's mental state, causing confusion, delirium, or their perception of reality. Orgasm Control - The practice of controlling whether or not, and when, someone is able to have an orgasm. He says he wants to continue dating this woman, but he also wants to continue with the dominatrix. Most often exerts control over one or more submissives, who most commonly identify as slaves.
Self Bondage - The practice of tying oneself up. Master Leather - A person who has achieved expert proficiency in a particular skill set, or an indicator of how long someone has been involved in the community kink or otherwise. NRE New Relationship Energy - The excitement and infatuation that comes from experiencing the beginning of a relationship.
Kink - An unconventional or unusual sexual preference or behaviour. Plushie - 1 Someone who plays with stuffed animals. Commonly a form of humiliation. Sitophilia - Sexual interest in eating food from one's own or another's body, or to food used in other ways for sexual gratification or kink gay speed dating luzern. Peodeiktophilia - Sexual interest in exposing one's penis.
Training role - 1 Similar to a mentor, instructing a less experienced member of the lifestyle in various aspects of BDSM principles. Objectum Sexuality - Sexual or romantic attraction of a person towards an object. Also known as cell popping. Negotiation - Crucial communication ahead of a scene, play, or dynamic where limits, expectations, and other key elements are discussed.
Power exchange is often psychologically and emotionally intense, so clear guidelines to such a practice is key. Transvestism - Deriving sexual pleasure from cross-dressing. Getting off on handjobs, fisting, fingering or massaging, as well as hands doing everyday things, such as typing. Often quite strict, the term New Leather follows a similar structure with less formality.
Keyholder - An individual holding the key to a chastity device, and therefore the power to grant or deny orgasm. Suturing - The act of temporarily sewing parts of the body. Predator Primal - Akin to a Dominant, but without the structure of protocols or rules that accompany it. Violet Kink gay speed dating luzern - A device used in electrical play. SPH Small Penis Humiliation - A form of degradation play wherein the male is chastised and mocked for having a small penis.
Generally paired in dynamics with a Daddy, Mommy, or Caregiver. Moreover, it is causing significant and ongoing stress and anxiety, affecting both his social and work life. Telephone Scatologia - Sexual interest in obscene phone calls, particularly to strangers; also known as telephonicophilia. An emotional connection between the Top and bottom is often found.
Splanchnophilia - Sexual interest in entrails. Mummification - The act of immobilising the body through wrapping in multiple layers. Raptophilia - Sexual interest in committing rape, consensual or non-consensual. Ranges from a quick conversation between the involved parties, or a formal written contract. Often in reference to doctors, therapists, craftsmen, etc.
Klismaphilia - Sexual interest in the usage of enemas. Consider the following client: Kevin, a year-old attorney, enters therapy for severe anxiety. Also known as a Triad. Pinwheel - A small tool with a metal wheel lined with small needlepoint metal spikes around the outer edge, used for sensation play. Sadism - Sexual pleasure derived from inflicting pain, physically or emotionally.
This often involves humiliation and degradation. Sacofricosis - The process of making a hole in one's pocket to masturbate in public. White Knight - A D-type with the desire to 'save' someone considered a damsel in distress. Suspension - Form of bondage in which the bottom's weight is entirely or partially suspended. Slapper - A paddle formed from two patches of thick leather which are attached on one end, producing a 'slap' as they impact eachother against a surface.
Odaxelagnia - Arousal caused by biting, or being bitten. Most commonly, a mentor will be on the same side of the slash as the mentee, and the two will not play together. Mommy - Caregiving variant of a D-type role within a power dynamic, often with nurturing and gentle practices. Sure, its the one that gets the most attention, especially with the Fifty Shades books and movies, but its hardly a lone sexual outlier.
Differs from cuckolding in that humiliation usually doesn't factor. PIV - Common acronym for penis-in-vagina. Shibari - A decorative form of bondage, literally meaning "to tie". WAM Wet and Messy - A form of play involving liberal amounts of food-related substances being deliberately applied to the naked skin, face, or the clothes. Thus, our job as therapists is to help a struggling client explore his or her fears, shame, and misunderstandings about his or her arousal template, and to eventually reduce the negative impact that is having.
Causes a static electric discharge which can be quite intense. Care should be given to the potential for serious infection and injury. Subbie - A kink gay speed dating luzern term for 'submissive'; often a term of endearment Submissive role - Someone who gives up power and control in a power exchange dynamic. So even though eyeball licking might not be your cup of tea, its a legitimate turn on for somebody.
Sounding - The use of a thin rod, often metal, inserted into the urinary passage. Monogamish - Colloquial term for a primarily monogamous relationship, where partners may partake in sexual encounters. Predicament Bondage - Intentional bondage designed to put the bottom in an awkward or uncomfortable position, often as a challenge for them to overcome.
Tribbing - The act of two females rubbing their genitals together; commonly referred to as scissoring. This can be done with the intention of causing pain, or for decorative purposes. Not all females have the ability to squirt during an orgasm or high stimulation. Macrophilia - Sexual interest in giants, primarily domination by giant women or men.
May apply to someone who works with rope or needles known as a Rope Top or Needle Topand can also include service topping. If a specific sexual desire or behavior is not causing harm to kink gay speed dating luzern client or others, as therapists we should neither judge it nor try to put a stop to it no matter how weird kink gay speed dating luzern might think it is.
Protocol - A set of rules consensually agreed upon and adhered to by two or more individuals. Kleptophilia - Sexual kink gay speed dating luzern in stealing; also known as kleptolagnia. Partialism - Deriving sexual pleasure from specific, non-genital body parts. Keraunophilia - Sexual interest in thunderstorms. Anything from touching to restraints to cages or chastity belts can be used to deny someone an orgasm.
Microphilia - Sexual interest in tiny men or women. Often involves significant inducement of physical or psychological pain. Little - A form of s-type who roleplays a younger age typically up to May involve the use of toys, pacifiers, clothing, and occasionally adapting their voice, as well as affectionate, nurturing, and disciplinary practices. Often entirely dependent upon how a given Leather family defines the term.
Primary - Someone within a poly dynamic given the most time and priority. Moreover, it is only when the behavior is taken to an extreme that results in negative life consequences that its viewed as a disorder. Power Exchange Dynamic - A dynamic where someone consensually yields authority over to another individual. Waterboarding - The act of restraining a bottom on their back and pouring water over their face, or leaning them back until they are submerged, which mirrors the sensation of drowning.
Secondary partner - Someone within a poly dynamic given less time and priority than the primary partner. Squick - Colloquial term for encountering something which causes kink gay speed dating luzern or revulsion, often used in the context of "squicked out". It's important the right kind of candles are used to prevent second-degree burns.
No matter how ego-dystonic, it is unlikely that any type or amount of therapy will make these interests disappear. Puppy play may or may not involve a sexual component. W Wannabe kink gay speed dating luzern Derogatory colloquialism commonly ascribed to D-types that consider themselves knowledgeable and experienced, but are not. Rhabdophilia - Sexual interest in being beaten; arousal from punishment.
We do not say that drinking alcohol is inherently pathological because plenty of people do it without any problems at all. Open to many structures, a Pack is often headed by a Dominant, but may be Leather, age-playing, poly, or otherwise. Masochism - Deriving sexual pleasure from being subjected to pain, physically or emotionally.
May be decorative bondage only, but in the cases of full restraint, a failsafe or timer-release is crucial. Again, I will use alcohol as an analogy. Scene - A pre-negotiated, fully consensual timeframe in which a BDSM or kink activity is taking place. Middle - A form of s-type who roleplays a younger age typically 11 to May involve sexual curiosity, watching targeted TV shows, or clothing.
The arrangement may or may not be sexual. Rimming - Licking or inserting the tongue into an anus. Consider as an analogy the difference between a casual drinker, a heavy drinker, and an alcoholic. Orgasm Denial - The practice of denying someone the ability to have an orgasm. May refer to rope, or flesh hook suspensions.
May have an opening for the head, or may require the use of a breathing tube. R Race Play - A scene or scenario rooted in racial stereotypes and power dynamics, such as slavery and segregation. This is somewhat subjective. Ursusagalmatophilia - Sexual interest in teddy bears. Stag - A male who enjoys watching his female partner Vixen gain sexual gratification with another man.
Sensation Play - A scene designed to limit or intensify a partner's senses. And its not the job of any therapist to pathologize this or any other non-harmful, non-offending sexual kinks and fetishes. Teleiophile - A person who is attracted primarily to mature adults. Sometimes referred to as a Clan, Family, or House, depending on the dynamic in question.
Merinthophilia - Sexual interest in tying someone up or being tied up with rope or similar material. Sadist - Someone who derives pleasure from inflicting pain, physically or emotionally.
Q: What is "C'est Mon Choix" and how does it relate to a speed dating app? A: "C'est Mon Choix" (French for "It's My Choice") implies you have control over your dating destiny. In the context of a speed dating app, it likely means you have significant filtering options and control over who you connect with.Stuffie - Colloquial term for a stuffed animal or toy, often used by littles. Taphephilia - Sexual interest in being buried alive. LDR Long Distance Relationship - Acronym denoting a relationship over a significant distance, such as cross-country or overseas. Rather, it is the way in which it affects Kevin that is pathologized.
Predator Warning - Someone who preys on new and inexperienced kinksters, often causing real emotional and physical harm through abuse. Suggests every individual who engages should have a complete understanding of the risks associated with an activity, and full knowledge and acceptance of any potential consequences that may be incurred as a result.
Sploshing - The use of copious amounts of food during play. Often deems themselves 'too old' to enjoy Little-specific activities. Throuple - A poly dynamic consisting of three people sharing equal partnership. MMM - Common acronym denoting an all-male threesome. Knismolagnia - Arousal caused by tickling. Piquerism - Deriving sexual pleasure from the thought or act of penetration of another person, most commonly by stabbing or cutting the body with sharp objects.
The DSM-5 specifically lists eight potential paraphilic disorders: Voyeuristic disorder sexualized spying Exhibitionistic disorder exposing the genitals Kink gay speed dating luzern disorder rubbing up against a nonconsenting person Sexual masochism disorder undergoing humiliation, bondage, or suffering Sexual sadism disorder inflicting humiliation, bondage, or suffering Pedophilic disorder sexual focus on prepubescent children Fetishistic disorder sexual focus on nonliving objects or nonsexual body parts Transvestic disorder cross-dressing for sexual arousal.
Ponies may be for show, for riding, or to pull their D-type in a cart. Paramour - Typically, an illicit lover of a married person. Can be only a select few activities what to wear or what to eator a complete handing over of all decisions. Strap-on - A harness containing a dildo, designed for use by females with female partners, or for pegging male partners.
Online, a protector is often the first port-of-call before you message a user. Toilet Play - A scene involving the control of a bottom's bathroom use, or of using the bottom as a human toilet. If, for instance, Kevin was perfectly at ease with his dominatrix sessions and did not feel as if they were interfering with his dating and work life, and instead was coming to therapy about to his desire to change professions, his sexual fetish would be a clinical non-issue.
Troilism - Deriving sexual pleasure from watching one's partner have sex with someone else, possibly without the third party's knowledge; also known as cuckoldism. Voyeurism - Deriving sexual pleasure from watching others while naked or having sex, generally without their knowledge; also known as scopophilia or scoptophilia. Top - Someone who does kinky things to someone else.
Often, there will be little to no emotional connection outside of the scene. NSA No Strings Attached - An agreement between partners where the relationship is based purely on physical connection, with no emotional attachment. Pain Slut - A masochist who enjoys receiving a heavy degree of pain. He also feels like his performance at work is suffering because of his anxiety.
L Lactophilia - Sexual interest in breast milk. Pygophilia - Sexual interest in buttocks. Symorophilia - Sexual interest in watching or staging disasters i. Spectrophilia - Sexual interest in ghosts or spirits. Often shortened to KH. Kidnapping Play - A scenario, or Scene, in which the bottom is restrained kink gay speed dating luzern taken to another location, often by force.
Torture Play - A scenario or scene which mimics a torture situation, such as a dungeon, war prison, captivity, etc. Queer - An umbrella term to describe individuals who don't identify as straight or cisgender. Safecall - An arranged call with a close friend to check your wellbeing when meeting someone for the first time. A suction pump is used to remove the air, creating a skin around the bottom and bed.
Menophilia - Sexual interest in menstruation. The basic behavior, consuming alcohol, is the same, but the underpinnings, impact, and long-term effects are quite different depending on the person. May also include drinking a partner's urine. Pearl Necklace - The act of a man ejaculating onto a neck. Munch - An informal social gathering of new and active members of a kink community.
Once again, the APA very clearly states that a specific behavior does not become a paraphilic disorder a pathology unless and until it causes clinically significant distress or impairment. Nipple Clamps - A clamp device designed or adapted for use on the nipples to restrict blood flow or cause a 'tugging' sensation in predicaments. Used in the act of paddling during Impact Play, most commonly on the rear.
He says he does not become physically aroused while this is occurring, but after the dominatrix leaves he masturbates furiously. Unfortunately, this role is open to misuse, so a potential mentor should be considered carefully. Punishment - A corrective measure, often inflicted as the result of rule breaking or disobedience. N Nantaimori - A Japanese practice of serving sushi or sashimi upon the naked body of a male.
Similar to Female Ejaculation. Quirofilia - Sexual interest in hands. Stygiophilia - Sexual interest in hellfire and damnation. Necrophilia - Sexual interest in corpses. Transvestophilia - Sexual interest in transvestites. Notably, it is not the behavior itself that is pathologized. Preggophilia - Sexual interest in pregnant people.
Your enjoyment is entirely subjective. Spotter - A person charged with monitoring a bottom's safety within a scene, such as suspension. Mysophilia - Sexual interest in dirtiness, or soiled or decaying things. Spider Gag - A gag with a metal ring at the centre and outward-facing metal pieces to hold the lips out of the way, forming a wide 'O'.
Prostate Massage - The act of stimulating the prostate using the finger or another object, to either enhance orgasm, or force ejaculation without orgasm. Vanilla - Umbrella term for anything conventional or plain; commonly considered the opposite of kinky. Differs from Mechanophilia in that it usually describes a deep emotional attachment to the object, which may include a "relationship".
Knife Play - A scene involving the use of one or more knives, from either side of the slash. Suggests all parties involved in a given activity should be fully aware kink gay speed dating luzern the inherent risks prior to consenting to the activity. Not meant to be malevolent, a SAM will tend to act out this way because a D-type likes it, or to get their attention.
Pyrophilia - Sexual interest in fire or arousal from intercourse with a burning corpse. Suspension, self-ties, performance rope, and aerial rope are most commonly forms of shibari. This may be due to distress, fatigue, fear, or any number of reasons. Stigmatophilia - Sexual interest in body piercings, tattoos and scars. And they could not be more right. Red Flag - A negative indicator about a potential partner, such as breaking promises or limits, gaslighting, lack of accountability, dishonesty.
Needle Play - A scene involving the use of needles, from either side of the slash. TENS Unit - A device which applies electrical impulses to stimulate the nerves, commonly used to relieve pain. Narratophilia - Sexual interest in dirty talk, usually with kink gay speed dating luzern words. Lolita - An ageplaying s-type typically fulfilling the role of a precocious year old.
Wax Play - A scene involving the used of molten candle wax to create sensations or designs. Prey Primal - Akin to a bottom or submissive, but without the structure of protocols or rules that accompany it. Metamour - The lover of a lover - consider the metamours to be the top of a V in a poly relationship, Microbranding - The use of a small heated poker to create a series of dots.
If BDSM was something Kevin engaged in occasionally with his partner s for a little bit of extra fun during sex, we would say hes got a kink. Mental Bondage - A psychological form of bondage; remaining in position through instruction only. V Vacuum Bed - A device used in bondage, similar to kink gay speed dating luzern bed within a latex envelope.
Switch - Someone who engages in both Dominant or Top and submissive or bottom roles. Pegging - The act of, most commonly a female, using a strap on to anally penetrate a male. Sleepsack - A device similar to a sleeping bag used in bondage to restrict full body movement. Squirting - The expulsion of bodily fluids of a similar composition to urine via the urethra.
Rape Play - A scene or scenario in which the bottom is forced to have sex - performed consensually, but roleplayed as if not. He is unwilling to tell his new girlfriend about his sexual arousal patterns, and this is creating a great deal of stress and anxiety. However, the behavior is clearly a primary element of Kevins sexual life, elevating BDSM the level of a fetish.
Oculolinctus - Sexual pleasure derived from licking someone's eyeball. Retifism - Deriving sexual pleasure from shoes, feet, heels. Sensory Deprivation - The use of various tools to inhibit sensory perception, such as earplugs, blindfolds, etc. Emphasis is placed on every individual's mental stability and full comprehension of the risks associated with kink gay speed dating luzern given activity prior to granting consent.
Textophilia - Sexual interest in certain kinds of textiles, usually from the sensation of it rubbing against an erogenous zone. Often the genitals, mouth, or eyelids. Sock Account - A secondary account setup to be completely unaffiliated with a 'main' account, such as a 'kinky' social media profile which doesn't link to your real identity. P Pack - A group of individuals in a relationship who may or may not live together.
Podophilia - Sexual interest kink gay speed dating luzern feet. Subspace - A specific state of consciousness that many, though not all, submissives experience during a given scene. Sadomasochist - Sexual pleasure derived from inflicting or being subject to pain, physically or emotionally. S S-type - A universal term for the 'right side of the slash', including submissive, slave, bottom, brat, masochist, doll, pet, etc.
Olfactophilia - Sexual interest in different scents. Usually presented in lowercase. Limit - Practices someone doesn't wish to include, or requires additional negotiation around. Also known as the honeymoon phase. OPP One Penis Policy - An agreement between an open or poly couple where the woman may have multiple female lovers, but not male.
Also known as Feminisation. In the same way, we do not say that BDSM is pathological. Masochist - Someone who derives pleasure from being subjected to pain, physically or emotionally. Kajira - Gorean term for a female slave. Teratophilia - Sexual interest in deformed people. Nipple Torture - The infliction of pain exclusively on the nipples.
A hands-on approach may involve vetting and evaluating potential partners, or recommending safe practices. He also says that he has recently started dating a woman he met through another attorney, and he is afraid that if they have sex she will notice the many marks and bruises that he nearly always has on various parts of his body.
Soft Limit - Potentially negotiable actions that a person may be open to, but should never be pressured into. Outing - The disclosure of someone's kinks, orientation, or identity against their will. Tawse - A leather strap with a split down the centre to pinch the skin upon impact. Somnophilia - Sexual interest in watching other people sleep.
Q: I’ve started catching feelings for someone I was casually hooking up with. Is it worth trying to pursue something more?Psycholagny - The ability to reach orgasm without the need for physical stimulation, often through mental stimulation or fantasy. Pedovestism - Deriving sexual pleasure from dressing like a child. Nesting Partner - Denotes co-habiting partners, similar to the common setup of live-in a vanilla relationship, though they may not be primary partners in a Poly dynamic.
Mammaphilia - Sexual interest in breasts; also known as mammagynophilia and mastofact.